and not in the way that you think.
Have you ever seen that scene from The Breakfast Club where Bender removes a screw from the door resulting in a very mad principal which leads to the whole conversation about how “screws fall out all the time” and then leads to a OK-Corral showdown which ends in a “don’t mess with the bull, you’ll get the horns?” Yeah, that scene is played out a lot in my house between my six year old and I. There are many theories as to why my daughter and I are clashing…some popular ones are: 1. She’s a “daddy’s girl.” 2. We are two peas in a pod. My mom laughs (or cackled) and says, “She’s just like you when you were that age.” 3. We are all at heightened amounts of stress and if I had to guess what my stress level is I would say red. 4. Or I am just a bad mom and should have my parenting license revoked.
It could be all of these or none of these reasons, but I am a proactive person and I have enrolled in two parenting courses being offered for free through the school district. Plus the “free child care provided” helped; and the “free dinner” for one of the classes definitely enhanced the idea . The first course that I am taking is entitled “Working Successfully with Chronically Inflexible, Easily Frustrated, Explosive Students” (I think it should have been “Explosive Parent”) and despite the psyco-babble that has been thrown my way I have hopes for a harmonious home.
I am a big believer in signs or “coincidinks” as I call them and twice this week I have come across articles in the paper that have pointed to me that I am in the right direction. The first was on Monday when I read a short blurb about a study that found that children who grew up in homes where there was a lot of fighting ( between the parents, between the parents and child(ren), lots of rows in the home, period) tended to be low self-esteem slackers in their thirties. Unemployed and still living at home, which probably leads to more rows.
The second article was a short essay in the YourHub.Com by a stay-at-home Mom from Evergreen entitled, “Sometimes I feel like a bad mom.” And let me tell you she was singing my song when she wrote:
But then, my wonderful child was replaced with a loud, temperamental, crazy one.
Our relationship was stressed and I stressed over our changing relationship.
I didn’t know how to handle my temperamental child and keep my sanity and dignity.
I cried–a lot.
I asked for help…a lot…and things got better.
So there it is…hope from one mother to another that things will get better.
September 28, 2009 at 6:08 pm |
I’m sure things will get better….you are raising your kids to be independent thinkers and free spirits–you have to expect a little bit (or a lot) of intensity.
Serioulsly though…think of it this way…soon Gregor will be back, and this time it will be for good. No more TDYs, no more tours–but most of all–no more single parenting!
September 28, 2009 at 11:40 pm |
Yeah, single parenting is for the birds, or whatever species does single parenting. I kind of like the alligators parenting methods of laying the eggs and “adios.” But only on my crazy-hectic days. Which outnumber the peaceful, tantric ones. But seriously, I would love to say I didn’t sign up for this, but I guess I did the day I signed my name at the Legal office.